Monday, July 29, 2013

Battleship (2012)

SPOILER WARNING!!! This post spoils movie Battleship (2012).

Battleship is loosely based on classic board game of same name. By loosely I mean that Batman Forever was almost as much based on same game. Only thing from game was battle in middle of the movie and it didn't made any sense. But that is not a problem because rest of the movie makes very little sense too. Movie is just series of scenes that make very little sense.

Movie starts with our hero breaking in to store to get chicken tortilla to girl he met at bar. He got tased by police but manages to give tortilla to girl. His big brother didn't like that and says that he has to join the navy. We go to friendly football game (soccer to those who don't know what ball is and what foot is). There we see how our hero threats to kill his team-mate if he couldn't shoot penalty kick. After trash talk he misses the goal totally. After this he gets in the fight in toilet with member of other team. Movie makes sure that we understand that our hero is total jerk who can't make anything right. It is strange how this guy is third in command in destroyer.

Our hero doesn't grow during the movie. We just see that he is good using destroyer and battleship commander against aliens. Or he is just extremely lucky with unusual tactics he comes up with. We see that after others talks him out of committing suicide with destroyer and taking everyone on destroyer with him. Other characters are not any better. They character traits are being jerk, pretty nurse, grumpy old man or just looking pretty. Most are jerks. I don't understand why movie tries to make us hate the characters. Later all with more than few lines turn out to be heroes. Big brother takes one for the team because we need to have at least one casualty in alien invasion. Others overcome themselves and become heroes.

Then to aliens. They have strange technology that shows them what is a threat to them and what isn't. It is constantly malfunctioning. It works when there needs to be destruction and doesn't work when our heroes need to survive. Cheating technology is as easy as pointing weapons to different place. For some strange reason that didn't work for military airport or bridges. Cheating only worked for characters who had enough lines in movie. For some reason aliens forgot what was threat couple seconds ago and doesn't destroy threats if they no longer seem to be threats. It could almost mean that they didn't come here to fight. It was humans that started the fighting. That would have been great angle if there would not have been couple scenes that hinted aliens came here to destroy us. You can still think that what they did, they did as self-defence. After all they destroyed only what they saw as threat. It would have been better if aliens were simply defending themselves and humans were the bad guys. After all most humans in this movie were jerks.

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