Monday, February 3, 2014

Sharknado (2013)

SPOILER WARNING!!! This post spoils movie Sharknado (2013)

It is Syfy original and it is called Sharknado. That is all you have to know to know, what kind of movie this is. I heard about this movie be before it premiered in USA. It is a small phenomenon in bad movie circles. It is like ultimate Syfy original. This time, they didn't even try to be serious. You know that by the name. Some may argue names like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus or Mega Piranha, tells you, you won't be getting serious movie. Those movies tried to be serious too. This didn't even try. It is rollercoaster ride from beginning to end.

I have done few Syfy movies before. I haven't liked them much, because they have been somewhere between serious and over the top stupid. This is just over the top stupid. And that works. Tornado full of shark is so over the top idea, you have to try really hard to mess it up. Like every other Syfy movie, this tries too much and adds too much content. It is full of bad acting and bad effects. Just what you expect from Syfy original and everything is turned to eleven. If you haven't seen any Syfy originals and want to know, what kind of movies they are, this is a perfect movie to watch.

Plot is quite simple. Tornado is hitting Los Angels. Before it hits Los Angeles, it lifts swarm of sharks into it. Divorced father tries to get to his ex-wife and kids. Tornado brings floats and there are sharks everywhere. If you don't pay too much attention, you don't see in how shallow water sharks swim and how they are still big enough to eat humans as whole. Float also acts strangely. High places may float and low places could be completely dry. And it doesn't matter how much there is water, sharks appear anyway. It is funny, how casually characters react, when sharks come to shore and later to inlands miles away from shore. I won't go into main story any further. It is just constant string of stupidity and cliches.

I want to go deeper to beginning. Idea of sharknado is just insane. But you still expect characters to be reasonable. Not in this movie. To be honest, characters in main story acted almost like reasonable persons. Almost. Characters in beginning didn't do that. Fishing boat is at sea hunting sharks. Inside boat asian businessman negotiates the price of sharks they will get during this fishing trip. Yes, they are negotiation price of sharks before they know how much shark they will get. Why would anyone do that? And why businessman is in fishing boat negotiating? Businessman offers 100 000 dollars. Captain wants one million dollars. Captain pulls his gun and forces businessman to agree with one million dollars. Why would anyone do that, if they want to do business with that person again? Or anyone else. As soon as they are on shore businessman could break the deal and refuse to pay.

Businessman give 100 000 dollars as front payment. Then sharknado hits the ship and sharks start to eat the crew. Businessman escapes the captain. To where? He is on small fishing boat. He tries to kill the captain and take the boat and the money. That is really good idea, because this is the first time he is at sea and he knows how to operate the boat. And everyone wants to do business with him after he has killed captain and taken his ship. Captain is faster and shark eats the businessman. Right after that captain is eaten too. Then we get to main story.

It is Syfy original and it is called Sharknado. It is what you would expect to be. Name made it cult movie and movie lives up to its name.

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