Friday, January 2, 2015

Shorts: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

You know the movie will be bad, but you have to make sure it really is bad. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is one of those movies. Nothing I knew about the movie made me interested of it. I didn't know Hotness Called Famke Janssen was in it. Movie was almost what I expected from it.

Movie's biggest sin was not putting Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton against Hotness Called Famke Janssen. It was making Hotness Called Famke Janssen wear ugly mask most of the movie. Director must have realized we would root for Hotness Called Famke Janssen instead of the heroes if that wasn't the case. I rooted for Hotness Called Famke Janssen even when she wore ugly mask.

Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton have been in big movies. But they can't carry this one. Based on IMDB, I have seen couple Gemma Arterton movies, but I don't remember who she was in those movies. Jeremy Renner was ok in Bourne Legacy and Marvel movies he has been on. He is kind of ok in this one too, but that is not enough.

Story is based on classic fairy tale. Movie shows what happened to Hansel and Gretel after the fairy tale. They become witch hunters. Quite bad witch hunters considering they willingly go after witches. They are so bad it is miracle they are still alive.

Movie is dark fairy tale with heroes using medieval versions of machine guns. It is like Van Helsing with less charismatic heroes. You don't miss anything if you skip this. If you are into this sort of stuff, you might enjoy it, but you will forget it almost as soon as you have watched it.

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